Talking to guys can be difficult enough in real life thanks to the differences between men and women. This same problem doesn’t help when talking online. Just like men, women get confused in the complicated guessing game that is online flirting.
Here are a few things to remember when talking to a guy online:
A warm greeting can go far in helping the conversation develop. Start off with a natural introduction. The person on the other end will be able to sense if you’re trying too hard. Start off with hi or hello and express genuine interest in talking to that person.
Remember to ask questions
Something people tend to forget when engaging in conversations is asking questions. Asking good questions can encourage the guy to open up and talk about himself more. Ask about his interests but be sure to at least pay attention when he does answer. Asking further questions about the things he talks about will make him feel that you’re really interested. When appropriate, give honest compliments. Don’t feel the need to over-compliment because he will sense that you’re simply trying to win him over.
Pause and listen
Try not to ramble. This is something you normally wouldn’t do with a guy you don’t know, so try to refrain from doing it. Someone polite will willingly listen to you for a couple of minutes about how that shade of lipstick you found today was absolutely sublime but don’t push it. If you’ve been talking for hours about yourself, you may simply be pushing your prospective date out the virtual door. A good conversation should never be one-sided.
Refrain from being overly negative
A comment about how bad the day is going is generally acceptable. But if you spend several minutes complaining about everything, the person you’re talking to will start zoning out. You shouldn’t pretend to be happy when you’re not but if you’re on a dating site to find someone, the least you could do is not dump all your problems on the first person you talk to.
Explore common interests
What can really bring a conversation to life is exploring common interests. People generally think that those who like similar things are interesting. Of course, this is not an excuse to lie about things you like. If you don’t have a lot of common interests, you can opt to show a willingness to find out more about the activities and topics he likes. Generally, people are open to sharing their knowledge about topics they’re really good at.
Do not talk about other guys
This is just being polite. You probably don’t want to hear him going on and on about other girls either. You’re there to know more about each other. Try not to talk about your past boyfriends either. If he asks about them, and if you feel comfortable about answering, then you can choose to discuss old relationships. But again, the chat’s goal is to find out more about each other. It’s not about other people.